15th Day - Rose 15 mins
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Didn't exercise today. I think it's the 5th times I didn't exercise since daily.

Whole day I've been sitting at my PC uploading my pictures.

After dinner, I supposed to exercise (recently keep exercising at night). I received a phone called from Pan. He requested for drink. I've been rejecting him too many times until I'd feel bad. So I finally say yes. Luckily my skin condition has been better, if not I'd hafta make up to go out. He say I looked even better than last time and thinner a lot. He said I don't look like 60kg, which is good. I must continue my effort daily exercising.

We talked pretty much anything. I found out that he's not happy at his job. Drinks a lot of water lately due to heat.

I must be better tomorrow. Do more work need to be done. Focus more on things need to be done.

14th Day - Rose 15 mins
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Installed the Bamboo Pen.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIIKO!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIIKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wish your dreams come true!

Wish you forever looking young!

Wish you have whatever you wanted!

Wish you best of all, finding love of your life!

I love you!

Happy birthday! 生日快乐! Selamat Hari Jadi! Sang Yit Kuai Lok! Sang Yat Fai Lok! O Tanjobi Omedeto gozaimasu! Seng Yet Chukahamida ( I don't know the spelling for korean but sounds like that).

13th Day - Rose 20 mins
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Today, I feel like wearing yellow. Bright like sun, even though that I'm feeling so tired and sleepy. I end up wearing a yellow baby-tee, pink leopard print leggings & belt, my layered skirt pants. Attach my favourite white tail, I think I'm heading for craziness as I'm just going to Asia City and even ate at Fu Yen.

I finally, finally, finally...can wear the yellow baby-tee that I bought that I never wore before because i was unable to fit in. I just love the print on design. I'm so happy!

I think I can fit in M size pants but won't be very much comfortable. The legging I tried yesterday was free size but it was really too tight and not comfortable. I wasn't even able to sit. Too bad...

I still unable to create better script at the moment...stucked.

Today Mom asked me to cooked congee for her to eat again. She say she missed the taste.

12th Day - Rose 20 mins
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Shopping with Theresa. Bought 3 belts, the sales girl really good at selling.

11th Day- Rose 15 mins Although it's almost half of the exercise, my mind still fly like bird with interrupted thoughts
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I've been eating and eating a lot recently. My weight hike back up to 60.9kg

I must really stop eating like having feast everyday.

I went to Lynn's baby Ace, Full Moon party at her house around 2pm. At the party, I ate beef rendang that is really delicious, some mango dunno what taste so good. Drank Tiger beer which is still dancing in my stomach.

10th Day - Rose 15 mins
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Been eating and watching drama whole day... ^^ So relax...

9th Day - Rose 20 mins
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Finally bought a drawing pad that cost RM480. Ah...so expensive. Don't have much choice to choose, as only one shop selling at Karamunsing that someone told me of. I hope I will really put it into a good use this time.

Still have bad vague memories haunting over me. I knew I have let it go, just like throwing trash away to able to live free. As pyramid wasn't built in a day, I will slowly fight as much as i can to win over this. I will, I can, I must...be stronger and stronger each day.

8th Day - Rose 20 mins
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Ah...Despite the accident with my eyes...I still managed to exercise eye closed and continue the rose. Now my eyes still feel pain, maybe too dry but not as read as before. I still can see clearly now so I think I'm fine.

My cousin got say I'm too '天真'. I'm not sure in a good or bad ways. Maybe he meant how i see things in the world.

I admit that part especially in love part. I think, love is unconditional. When I love someone, I don't want anything in return anymore. I used to think that if I like someone, I don't need their money or anything but love me back is real. But recently I think, I can't even force people to love me. I want the person to love me as me, not because I wanted love in return. That's what my most recent thoughts, I shall love someone, not asking anything including love in return.

Accidentally Sprayed My eyes

I hurt my eyes again this time while trying to clean air conditioner with cleaner. I slipped my fingers on the handle of the spray and went directly into my eyes. I'm not sure if my eyes closed fast enough but I rinse it with water as long as I could. Now my eyes are red and painful.

I must always remember to wear eyes goggles if something to do with cleaning solution.

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Update 24/6/2011-

Went to check up at Dr. Muthu Eye Specialist. Good news, that no damage done, only swollen eyes. He checked the spray's chemical, that seems to be okay. I'm lucky this time, I better learn my lesson well.

7th Day- Rose 13 mins. Still unable to concentrate well on the flower. Too many thoughts.

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Send my car for service today.

Cooked carrot mushroom pork porridge for dinner.

Saw beautiful dreamlike clouds just now when driving home. It was like greyish blue purple with toned glowing lights behind. Such beautiful calm serene colour that gives me a feeling like heaven on night time.

Once there's a question in my mind, if have to choose, real love or dream's goal? I want both. Either one perish also at last I won't mind, at least I try to keep both of them going on...I think a person can't exist without love and dream. A person need to have love to make oneself strongly chase dream, as well as dream to chase without a love one to share in life is meaningless.

Dentist dentist

6th day - Rose 15 mins
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Proceed with X-ray, Pictures taken, & mold of my teeth. Dr. Pamela said will review the analysis with me later to decide for my braces summary.

Second day of tooth filling at Dr. Lawrence. The process is bearable.

If I'm judging people by looks, I would say...I have beautiful and handsome dentists that helped me. Lol. I notice Dr. Pamela looks so sweet with her two small dimples and sweet smile. Her skin looks brilliant. Dr. Lawrence look handsome with his clean looks, & good body built. He have a nice eye stare ^^ I almost wanna stare at his eyes during the tooth filling but it will be very spooky for him i think. So, as usual i closed my eyes.

Shopping a bit. Bought two pairs of new sleeping short pants. 2 DVD.

Not such a bad day.

Tooth Filling

5th day - Rose 5 + 10 minutes
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I went to dentist, Dr. Lawrence for filling around 4:30pm. I found out I only can do one side for each time because the dangerous of biting our own tongue if the whole mouth was numb. I got filling for 3 tooth today. There few more tooth to go on the other side. Actually, the tooth already had filling but it's in black colour. I dislike it as it looks like my tooth is rotten.

Finally have the courage to revisit the nightmare of tooth filling.

I didn't expect, Dr. Lawrence was very skilled from needle injection to the filling. I can't feel much pain comparing what I have to endure last time. It made me feel I finally didn't hate visiting dentist nor I'm as scared I used to be. Phew...

4th day - Rose 10 +5 mins
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Went to 'Fish & Co' for the salmon Cajun again. Dragging my Aunt Cat & Aunt See, four of us including my mom ordered the same thing. We were even given complimentary Sakura Cheese Cake & Chocolate Ice cream for celebration of Father's Day. The taste of indulgence...yummy. I am very super triple full.

I went to Times to buy some books again. I have to stop buying for the moment I think. I bought too much books lately.

Now, my heart wanted to watch Drama or do some reading, although my eyes wanna sleep.

Today is my third time didn't exercise for one hour.

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow! I dunno where to start to write about...

Beautiful beautiful saturday.

Morning my usual routine.

Today went to Herbaline, chat with Candy about tons of stuff. Interesting topics today, especially about the witchcraft.

My Aunt Cat cooked dinner for us. Herbal Kampung Chicken Soup. Banguang & Carrot with meatballs. Very Full, over ate. :)

The most important is...

G Dragon Kwon Ji Yong's First solo album 'Heartbreaker' arrived!

I finally found his album with his 3D face. It is so beautiful and amazing. I think this idea is super creative and it's give a true depth of how his beautiful face look likes. Super like it~
Inside, the booklet with shining paper for first page & last. The design & pictures insides were absolutely fantastic.
These all thanks to Adam who manages to keep an eye for this album and help me purchased.
This is a 2009 production, I thought all hope is lost when I wanted this but I am very lucky. Very very lucky. Imagine finding this two years later. That why, hope favours the believe. I am not sure about the original price but this album is around RM160 ++. I don't care how much it cost, the main thing is I have it now. Actually, deep in my heart, i never doubt that I'll never get it, as I have the feeling I will have it.

Adam also helped me bought Big Bang Special Edition Album and GD & TOP Play Photobook, which I thought it's a CD with booklet. It's a big book! Enhanced with gold some more. I'm glad to have all these collection. Hope my purchase add up as a support.

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3rd day, Rose= between 20 to 25 minutes.

Rose 20 minutes. Fall asleep again after the rose.

Though, I still exercised. Trim Wangzi's paws. Bathed Wangzi. Clean the bathroom. Mopped the floor.

Cooked dinner. Bo chai, Bittergourd with egg(so delicious), chicken bittergourd soup.

Whole day been contacts with a lot of water, my hand needs lotion now. :)

Else..my body feel okay.

I know I shouldn't post about complaints or bad stuff but

I feel very unsafe when..

the neighborhood's security guard just hoot or attempt a weird sound to make me look at him. I feel so violated and totally scared. I can't even walked around my neighborhood feeding strays without feel secured? Oh my...

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Rose 10 mins

Today bought a new rose.

Went for facial. Add Rachele the beautician at my fb. Her pictures in fb are so cute! She look like doll with her make up and dresses. Love it :)

I saw that announcent that GD going to have second solo album next year. So eager to hear it soon :)

Eating for Fat loss !!! < control eat is not enuf >_<"

Well, I start writting with control what you put in mouth, check out what should and should not put in because "You are what you eat~!". Still working but have been trying that for 1years, from 78kg to 69kg and the weight keep Yo-Yoing... After Yume told me she lost so much of weight, I look at one of the full body photo my friends took. I was like shit... why I am so so so damn fat and ugly, look like aunty already. NOOO~~ Dont want that.... ish... Must go gym, dont care how much i spend now.. haha... there I was into gym route. Eating controling is really not enough for people who really want to lost weight, cause the energy go in have no way to expose. Best way like what Benz told me is to " Eat Less, do more~!"

So now I am in gym in daily base if I can help it, by the way start gym since 15 April 2011. My rules is at least 1hours gym per day, if I am not too busy will stay longer. Gym day is fun, part of it is I can go to any class I wanted as member. My favorite class are Pilates, Body Jam, Body Balance, Zumba,Yoga, Body Pump and AB Blast. If I dont go to any class I will be on machine to keep me going each days, will be on machine after class also. XD (PS: Will take photo of the gym when I got times and show. =D )

Food I have try out at home, during diet. Enjoy~!

I am back~

weee~ I havent been back for a while, but I do check out on Yume bloging~ she is awesome~ love her dearly~! Thanks her for introduce me to a good book, I would said is really a good book. Motivation~ from her lead me to start my exercise, start reading good books~ the conclusion is I will find a better way to stay where I was. To be honet I was lost before, haha...

Right, back to my exercise first. I start gym when I was like 73kg ++, I just weight myself last week on Thursday is like 69.4kg (havent eat anythings, and in the early morning) haha... but after eat will be like 70kg like that... So is kinda progressing as well. Thanks to Yume again~ <3 see who ever miss out to be her friend is a lost~ she is really awesome~~~~ So I believe she will do well in future~!!! =D

I know I wont hit 65kg before my brithday, but I will try hard see how I go with it. ^-^ My target is going down to 45kg~ haha.. I know is scrazy, but who care I just wanna hit the target~


This is the heels I mantion before, havent got times to show u yet. But post it here, I am sure Yume will see it... hehe...

The Lying Salesman Pretending to be Goverment Worker

The rose meditation back to 1st day again. 5 + 5. My minds really can't concentrate much today.

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In the morning, the door bell rang and I answered it. The developer's worker came to check on the situation that i write in for.

The door bell rang for the second time again after a while, as I thought it's the same person so I answered it. A guy wearing uniform claimed he's from government to check the safety of people house of gas leaking problem.

He keep insisting that all other neighbor had checked and I need to let him check.
I am not clever enough to doubt his intention as i thought he's a real one.

After he went to my kitchen, he starts to demonstrate performing art with my gas tank. Starting to use lighter to perform fire show which i think he's crazy for playing with fire.
He start to unplug my previous gas head and tube and put on his own gas head that he claimed is good for safety. I told him that I still have work to do and I ask him to leave soon. He then only took out a card ask me to fill in my details.

Another stupid of me, why did I go and fill the details? Why?

Then he asked for a drink claiming he's thirsty. As I go get him a drink, he wrote a receipt and asked me to pay for the new gas head and tube. It was RM373 at first.

I confronted him. I asked, you said you're from government, i thought all these performing and the gas head is for free. I said he should have told me early that he is just trying to sell a gas head not lie to me like that. He just smile. What?!

He asked me to pay in cash, credit card or even maybank online. How do i say no when he already unplugged all my stuff and put in his new gas head there? I'm alone in my house and I'm scared. I shouldn't have let him in my house early on.

At last, the price agreed on rm350. He asked me to pay cash. I said I'll pay with my credit card at his shop which is nearby he claimed. Then he asked for at least some deposit. I said, if you don't believe, my house won't run away. Then finally he left.

Not even a while, he came back ringing my door bell again with his so called boss said that they have brought the credit card machine because they going need to bring to some place else later. I answered the boss, then i'll pay cash later at his shop. Finally they both left.

I am angry. I'm angry at myself for getting into this cheating sales technique mess. Why do I so easily believe people?

Yes, I did went up to the shop and pay with cash later. When the clerk there issued a receipt and ask me sign it, I was like,"aren't you suppose to sign it and chop with your company chop?". if not it'll be like I'm issuing my own receipt then they still can come back and say I owed them money. These people..

The shop was almost empty with some same gas head and some cooking pots for sale. Walls was covered with some stove pictures. Just a simple table where the clerk sat.

I am really angry for feeling being cheated, for I didn't have the chances to say no and they using pressuring technique to sell items. Hello! There's many sale technique nowadays, this is the worst of them! Find a exhibition stall and start your performance there la. Do a video online on performing your items la. Don't go knocking into people house and say all rubbish then end up saying selling item!

I learned my lesson today. I will not easily let other people entered my house anymore.

My friend told me, which I have to remember from now on.

Learn to say NO.

Asked for Department, Order and Warrant that they have to entered your premises.

Because only Government Statistic Department only will go house to house for such activities.

Asked the person to show IC and write down his name.

Called 100 to get the department number, then call it also to confirm if this person is real or not.

OR

Learn to lie..which something I'm not good at.

Say this is not my house, my fren the owner went out a while. ASk him to wait outside.

The owner of this house is not in.

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So people, learn this mistake from mine. I paid RM350 for this lesson.

To look at the bright side, at least I still end up with a product even though it's not something I will spend on. I am still safe from the whole incident.

Morning to evening, cleaning at old house. Until my feet sore.

Arrived 6:30pm for 7pm dinner party, too early...first guest. Henny's first born, Stamford's Full Moon part. At Golden Seafood Restaurant, buffet style. My mascara or the fake eyelash is not comfortable, causing my eyes very red. I found out my foundation looks too dry on my face too. Should have put some moisturizer before anything. Found new liking of Godiva's White Chocolate Alcohol drink. Tasty...just perfect sweetness with a note.

No exercise nor rose meditation. My body and mind is not at suitable condition to do any it.

I am sleepy...so good night. :)

2nd day of rose, still using the same rose. 5 + 10minutes. Can't concentrate much today.

Happy dinner with Aunt Cat, mom & QQ. I cooked eggplant.

Went to Popular bookstore to find some book, but end up with other books.

Shopped list:

1) Stand and Deliver by Dale Carnegie Training
2) Success One day at a time by John C. Maxwell
3) The Leader who had no Title by Robin Sharma
4) The Star Principle, How It Can Make You Rich by Richard Koch
5) The Leader In You by Dale Carnegie
6) The Quick & Easy Way to Effective Speaking by Dale Carnegie
7) I Can Read You Like A Book by Gregory Hartley & Maryann Karinch

I hope I can find what I'm looking for soon. So many good books to read.
Blessed for having a warm dinner and able to shop today.

The Heart of Rose exercise is back to first day because i didn't practise it yesterday. It need to be continued for 21 days. I can't concentrate much either today for it only last 5 + 5 = 10 minutes. Break in the middle to check for time.

I heard a great news from Adam today. He told me that he found 'Heartbreaker' album with GD's face on it that version. I am so suprised! I am so happy! Really thank him for knowing I was looking for that album and keep an eye on it. Thanks, Adam!

Yesterday only manage to focus on the rose for 15 minutes nonstop.

Today, at this moment...i haven't exercised and do the rose exercise. Guess I'll be awake till late at night.

I did the test on memory training, i'm amazed by my own memory which i thought I am terrible at it. Guess I'm just lazy on using my mind more than I'm really forgetful. Must work harder on memory training. :)

I laughed at myself for almost ran away from the crack. Funny thing is when I'm trying to save myself, my mind were thinking keys, phone and my bag. Weird.

Well, this morning as i was trying to buy my first rose for 'The Heart of the Rose' exercise, i bring along Aunt Cat & QQ. End up shopping for a bag and a platform shoes at Damai.

I am happy that first time I bought the Desa Fresh Milk was actually very fresh taste today. Got once where i bought even the date is not expired, the milk already did. Love the freshness taste.

My first 'The Heart of the Rose' went okie I think. I only able to concentrate for five minutes before i look at the clock. Another 5 minutes more then I'm bored. Hope I will do better tomorrow.

While I was looking at the rose, I couldn't help thinking...

What if the rose could feel...

Will the rose cry as it was cut from its stem?

Does the rose feel it has a wonderful life if manage to blossom fully?

Will the rose regret it has such a short life span?

Or just live to the glory of its beauty?

I wonder...

As I was preparing to exercise today...around 11 am.

Suddenly I heard similar to fire crackers sound happening in my room. I went to check if the wire has burn again or anything causing fireworks.

But I did not see anything.

Then I found out where I am standing is not solid.

The tiles had raised up and with the cracking sound.

In my head only got one word, "RUN".

I quickly search for my keys, phone and bag to get away.

Then my mind collected itself, if I run then I would never know what happened.

I called my YF bro cousin and his phone engaged.

I called my mom to get the number from the developer as I lost the number.

I received called back from YF bro telling me that it is still safe to be where I am.

So I stayed even the cracking sound is scary.

Calling the developer salesperson, she told me about procedure need to be done to report this matter.

The cracking sound has stopped at the moment. I hope everything will be fine soon.

Today didn't exercised.

Play boardgame with Clemy, Darwin & Calvin. Arkham Horror failed terrible. Shadow Hunter. Hamburger. Anima.

Eat too much.

I remembered putting food in my mouth like..

. Pan Mee
. Black forest cake
. Strawberry cake
. Swan Cream Cake
. Cheese Cake
. Tuna Bread x 2
. Lo Bak Kuih
. Tiu Shi Pak Kut Fan (We end up laughing cos they heard me say sushi pak kut fan)
. 2 type of veg

Wah..long time no cook nice dinner for myself and my mom.

I cooked like one and half hour in the kitchen. Hahaha...normally I just spend 3 mins at the kitchen frying veg.

Today's menu:

Chicken drumstick's meat extract to make into
Fried Nestum chicken with crunchy curry leaves.

Spinach Konloumee with Bean Sprout.

This time my konloumee's sauce just nice. Last time too salty.

I'm too full now. Leftover chicken was given some to (1 piece) Wangzi and (2 pieces) the stray dog. Too bad those strays that mostly came, didn't know where they went. This one is the youngest that always wary of me. He's getting terribly thin. I hope he stay strong and found food to eat most of the time.

Allergic reaction =.=

I tried the new Dr. G Brightening Balm on my face today. It was okay for 3 hours thought nose there starts to have oil in 1 hour. The problem starts when 4th hour, my face starts to itch. Especially the cheek part, like 'fung mo' de stuff starts to appear. I'm having allergic reaction. I'm fighting hard not to scratch as I need to get home fast to wash my face. Now it's 3 hours later, I'm still feeling a bit itchy. This is my third time trying BB cream type. First time also having same allergic reaction. My first BB cream the brand that Jolin promotes in pink colour also having the same allergic reaction as today. The second one that i'd tried was by Naruko. I'm not having any itchiness but my face becoming super oily than normal in just few hours. My Aunt used the Dr. G exactly the same thing. It suits her face greatly. Her skin looks glowing using it. Pretty good coverage. I thought since she's my aunt...means I might can use the same thing. I guess wrongly...